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Personal reflections and research notes from a sixty-year-old retiree embarking on a part-time PhD at York St John University. The research — working title Haunted by Lost Futures — sits at the intersection of hauntological theory, digital ostension, and online conspiracy culture. It explores a simple but unsettling question: if, as Mark Fisher argued, contemporary culture is haunted by the futures it failed to reach, what does that haunting look like when it finds a home on the internet? This blog documents both the intellectual work and the wider experience of returning to formal study later in life.